Fencing can suit a shy child well. The mask covers the whole face, a bout is one fencer against one partner, and the skills come in small steps that a child can see themselves learn. No club can honestly promise that a sport will make a child confident. What we can do is tell you exactly what your child will meet at the free first class, so that nothing in it is a surprise for either of you.
Why fencing can suit a quiet child
The mask. A fencing mask is a steel mesh that covers the whole face. Once it is on, others see much less of a blush or a nervous face. Some quiet children find it easier to try something new that way. Is fencing safe for kids? explains what the mask is for in the first place.
One partner at a time. In a bout it is your child and one opponent, and the coach or referee starts and stops every exchange. There is no ball to fight over and no crowd of teammates shouting instructions.
Small, visible steps. In fencing, beginners usually start with how to stand en garde, how to step forward and back, and how to hold the sabre. Each of those is something a child can learn in a few minutes and feel that they have done.
Rules everyone follows. Fencers salute each other before and after a bout, and the same few safety habits apply to everyone, from the first class on. A shy child often finds it easier when they know exactly what is expected.
What happens at the first class
- You call, or leave your number. Tell Coach Pasha that your child is shy, so that he knows before the class.
- You arrive 10 minutes early. You sign the registration and waiver form, and your child gets the kit: we lend a mask, a jacket, a glove and a blade. Putting on the jacket and holding the mask before class is a gentle way in.
- Coach Pasha runs the class himself. He runs every newcomer's first class at our club, so the first face your child meets on the strip is the head coach, an Olympian.
- Your child tries the basics, in full protective equipment, like every fencer at the club. How far a first class goes depends on the child.
- You can watch. Parents are welcome to watch the free first class. After that, classes are for the fencers only.
- Afterwards, you decide. There is nothing to pay for the free class. If your child wants to come back, you sign the membership agreement and pay at the next class.
How you can help before the class
- Say what will happen. Tell your child about the mask, the jacket and the coach, and that the first time is only for trying. Reading your child's first fencing class, step by step together can help.
- Pick the right group. Groups go by age: Saturday, 9:00 to 10:00 AM for 4 to 6; Monday or Wednesday, 6:00 to 7:30 PM for 7 to 11; Tuesday, Thursday or Friday, 6:30 to 8:30 PM for 12 to 18. Which group is right for my child? has the details.
- Watch from the side. Your being there can reassure your child; calling out instructions usually does not help. Let the coach do the coaching.
- Ask about one good moment. On the way home, ask what was fun or what they would try again, and leave the decision about coming back until later.
What if my child freezes or cries?
It happens, in fencing as in any new activity, and it does not mean fencing is wrong for your child. Tell the coach what you see. The point of the first class is to try, and a quiet first class is still a first class.
Does fencing build confidence?
We will not promise that. What fencing does give a child is a set of skills that grow one at a time, each one easy to notice: a first lunge, a first parry, a first bout. How much of that carries into school and friendships is different for every child, and the honest way to find out is to try.
If your child also finds it hard to sit still or to focus, is fencing good for a child with ADHD? looks at what research says.
Call Coach Pasha at (408) 592-1244 and tell him about your child. If he is on the strip, leave a voicemail: he calls back within 24 hours. Or leave your number and he calls you.
